Joanna Sobierska‑Paczesny Anyone who’s never made a mistake has never tried anything

Every single one of us knows the taste of failurefailurefailure. Big, small, personal, academic, sport. It gets you down and makes you feel discourageddiscouragediscouraged. (1)............... That’s life. There’s no escaping it. Or is there? And if so – should you?

Imagine you just failed. Got dumpedget dumpedGot dumped, failed a test, doesn’t matter. The question is “what you are going to do about it?” You can either decide to learn from it and say “fine, in my next relationships I will try to….” or “Before the next test I’ll start studying earlier… “etc, or you can try to avoid it in the future by saying “I’m done with relationships” or skipping schoolskip schoolskipping school the next time there’s a test. The first kind of person has what is called the growth mindsetgrowth mindsetgrowth mindset. They want to learn from their mistakes and they would say “NO” to claims like “If something is too difficult for me, it’s not for me.” The second kind has the so‑called fixed or preventionpreventionprevention mindset, i.e. they think our abilitiesabilities [ability]abilities are ‘fixed’ so they cannot be developed, so it’s better to avoidavoidavoid difficulties. (2)............

Why does it matter which mindset you have? Studies by psychologist Carol Dweck show that it basically determines whether you’ll be successfulsuccessfulsuccessful in every aspect of your life. Dweck’s studies officially confirmed that resilienceresilienceresilience and the ability to recognize your weaknesses and work on them is the key to success. ResilientresilientResilient people don’t let setbackssetbacksetbacks stop them on their journey but instead become stronger and wiserwisewiser by overcomingovercomeovercoming them. And their journey is not towards one particular goal – it’s treating life as a never‑ending opportunity for personal growth.

It turns out that not just skills but also intelligence, talent and creativity can be developed. It doesn’t mean anyone can become another Einstein. (3) ..............They might have some talent, but it’s hard work and perseveranceperseveranceperseverance that makes them better and better. They try, sometimes fail, but keep at itkeep at sthkeep at it and develop.

The point is to accept that the expectation of perfection is a traptraptrap. In sports – it takes time to mastermaster sthmaster the necessary techniques and develop staminastaminastamina. At school – no one writes perfect essays at first goat first goat first go. Even in relationships being a ‘perfect match’ doesn’t mean you’ll never disagree. (4) ................ The harder you work at something, whether it’s math problems or reaching compromisesreach a compromisereaching compromises, the more skilled at it you become. The knowledge that you’re always able to find a way to get over a hurdleget over a hurdleget over a hurdle gives you immeasurableimmeasurableimmeasurable self‑confidenceself‑confidenceself‑confidence and a sense of controlsense of controlsense of control over where your life is going. And that’s the secret of the growth mindset.

For centuries various versions of this quote have been attributed to many people from fictional characters to famous people such as Benjamin Franklin, Theodor Roosevelt and Albert Einstein.

1 Źródło: Joanna Sobierska‑Paczesny, licencja: CC BY-SA 3.0.